i'm at school getting back into the swing of things and i'm having a blast. but do not expect to hear much from me for a long time. facebook me if you want, and i'll do my best to be in touch when i can, but frankly, i didn't come to college to take my friends with me. college life is a world of its own filled with new people, and life revolves around the hub of school and everything in it. my real friends understand this. they let me grow on my own (and apart from them, when appropriate and/or necessary) and wait for me to bring these experiences back to them should i choose to do so. my life, my time, my rules. this shouldn't be news to everyone else in a traditional university setting like mine.

if there are any oppositions to this, please dig yourself out from the rock under which you live and/or go fuck yourself. and if anyone feels so inclined to tell me i'm a bad friend or how shitty i am with keeping in touch, just make life easier for both of us and unfriend me here, on facebook, and delete my phone number. i seriously just do not want to hear it, nor do i have the capacity, time, or resources to attempt to fix any more bullshit.

any questions?

 Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. 

~Mother Teresa

 LATER, INDY.

this is the second time i have narrowly dodged the face of death.
creepy.

ow
ow
ow
ow
ow

this break, i have so far:

-spent time with my family
-worked 3 days and made a little extra $
-got a haircut with highlights
-received a beautiful bouquet of my favorite flowers from a guy i used to work with, just because
-got asked out to dinner by the same guy, not just because
-been asked out by an asian for the first time in my life (same guy)
-seen a LOT of good old friends, including ben heyman and tj
-eaten sushi
-made a gangsta rap mix cd
-DROVE. MY. CAR.
-watched a LOT of south park
-went shopping
-got my dad holiday presents he actually likes!!!*** (this never happens!)
-FINALLY. LEARNED. HOW. TO. KNIT.
-gone to bed before midnight just about every night
-cuddled
-kissed
-cleaned my room. like really, really cleaned my room.
-made my new favorite signature recipe, a garlic aioli dipping sauce for fries (esp. sweet potato!)
-been hospitalized for a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in my lung)
-uh. been hospitalized for a pulmonary embolism.
-first visit to the ER, and of course, my doctor knows my dad.

awesome.

i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday i get to go home on thursday

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!

WHY ARE PEOPLE HERE SO FUCKING IGNORANT?!

i'm exceptionally thankful for friends like kirstin because she doesn't expect me to be anything but me. and she is so generous: when i just need to get out of my house (which happens a lot when you live with 50 other girls) she lets me come over and hang out with her. actually, she lets me come over to her house when she isn't even home, which is what i'm doing right now. i'm sitting on her bed, watching her tv, i will soon be taking her dog outside, but i'll get to be ME and do whatever I want without the distractions of my roommates, shit i end up doing rather than what i'm supposed to do, and lack of personal space.

for a few hours, i get my own room. i get to be alone. i get to focus on studying for my comparative politics test tomorrow. i get to be alone. i get to be alone.

those few hours mean so much.

you're a great writer but
i wish you were as good of a friend

the times, they are a-changing...

i am completely, totally, absolutely, 100% in love with my sorority.

i knew that this needed to be like a band-aid; that once i got here and got involved i would feel better about being back and all. and last night was epic, to say the least. sophomore year is off to a great start!

i was probably right.
wtf?

in one of those moods...stop reading now if you don't want to hear it. otherwise...don't say i didn't warn you. my journal, my rules. deal with it.

LETTERS TO PEOPLE I APPARENTLY HAVE ISSUES WITH/SHOULD TALK TO EVENTUALLY BUT REALLY WOULD RATHER NOT HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM ANYTIME SOON/RANTS AND OTHER VARIOUS ANGRY THOUGHTS THAT HAVE BUILT UP IN MY HEAD AND ALSO HINDERED MY ABILITY TO SLEEP/I REALLY FUCKING NEED TO SLEEP:

1. dear complete and total douchebag who must overcompensate for self-confidence: for the record, i never had you "play by the rules while i chose not to." there was never an established "rule" for me - i just didn't expect anything to happen so soon. it is not my fault that you're fragile. also, while you are successful in your own special ways, you are not NEARLY as cool as you think you are. please reconsider your self-proclaimed status of being "untouchable" and realize that adjectives such as "arrogant," "pompous," "pretentious," and "patronizing" are far more fitting. you'll be doing us all a favor. thanks.

2. dear very spoiled, moronic little boy on the verge of seriously hurting himself and/or others and should not be allowed to get away with half of the stuff that he does: stop being an idiot and get off the road. you put innocent peoples' lives in danger on a daily basis. i don't care if you think that life is a joke - that's your opinion, but you don't have the right to impose that on others. you could hurt someone and frankly, i think you deserve to be put in jail. normal people value themselves (or at least, life). you are a loser. get help and/or get out. thanks.

3. dear extremely over-competitive, extremely insecure sorority sister who must take out said insecurities on the rest of the world: i don't consider you my friend because in the brief interactions i've had with you, you have proven yourself to be ignorant and arrogant, and you have directly offended me. please realize that talking about how much better you are at everything than everyone else does not have even close to as much impact as ACTUALLY BEING BETTER AT EVERYTHING THAN EVERYONE ELSE. you have a napoleon complex and should take a good hard look at yourself, perhaps seek professional assistance in the matter, and grow up. thanks.

4. ps to #1: stop recycling "tricks"/places/things with girlfriends...you're not going to get to use them much and it is proof that you really, really have no game (i dunno, put out some effort? be creative? pretend to care? - oh wait, you already do that; see original message). and apparently, what's new isn't really progress, either...ouch. you get what you give! and apparently, you deserve each other. ...thanks.

5. dear insomnia: please cease to exist. thanks.

6. dear summer: you are a total asshole for being over. fuck off. thanks.

7. dear ignorant people who believe that geographical residence invalidates genetics/people that think that being tan is a residency requirement in the state of california: also please cease to exist. thanks.



okay. negativity: out. attempt at thinking positive thoughts: in. thanks.

hi. my name is anna katzman, and i can't sleep.

How 'bout a round of applause
Yeah
Standing ovation
Oooohh Oh Yeah
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standin' outside my house
Tryin' to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Please
Just cut it out

And don't tell me you're sorry 'cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now (But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone
You betta hurry up
Before the sprinklers come on
Talkin 'bout "Girl I love you, you're the one"
This just looks like a re-run
Please
What else is on ?

And don't tell me you're sorry
'Cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closin'
But that was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now (But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

Ooohhhhh
And the award for
The best liar goes to you,
For makin me believe
That you could be Faithful
To me
let's hear your speach
ooohhhhh!

How 'bout a round of applause
A standin' ovation

But you put on quite a show
Really had me goin'
Now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closin'
But that was quite a show
Very entertainin'
Yeah Yeah Yeah
But it's over now (But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

But it's over now...

SO MUCH

i can't say i wasn't kind of just waiting for this to happen.

you have a lot to learn.